


when the noise overwhelms you

by seraf



Series: fundamentally people [7]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Angst, Autism, Autistic Character, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Hope's Peak Academy, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Other, Overstimulation, Ultimate Talent Development Plan (Dangan Ronpa), not in the sexual sense in the . autism sense, sort of. it's a meltdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-28 12:25:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19812280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seraf/pseuds/seraf
Summary: on tuesday was when korekiyo started acting strange.kiyo tries to act more "normal" in order to try and be a better friend/more a part of the group. eventually, he crashes.





	when the noise overwhelms you

on tuesday was when korekiyo started acting _strange._

he tended not to sit with the group at meals, preferring to eat in his labs, an arrangement that admittedly suited most of them fine. tuesday morning, he set down his tray at the table with the rest of them, and began to eat his breakfast as though it were the most normal thing in the world, wishing all of them a pleasant morning before heading off to his first classs.

it hadn’t seemed _so_ weird, at the time. but looking back on it, shuichi was pretty sure that might have been where it all began.

the first really noticeable change came on thursday - instead of his elaborate uniform that he took so much pride in, and his strange mask, kiyo was just wearing the brown and white boys’ uniform of hope’s peak, and a black dust mask, his hair pulled into a neat bun. the same was true on friday, and on monday, and . . . it kept happening.

and . . . he talked less.

he was sitting with them for yet another meal - this one a late lunch, and kokichi had asked him for a story, to the muffled groans of some of the group. kiyo had immediately brightened, initially. he was a folklorist at heart, after all. but then something like doubt crossed his eyes, and he shook his head.

‘ i don’t have any, ‘ he told kokichi, quietly, pushing his food around on his plate with his fork.

kokichi blinked at that. ‘ reallyyyy? none? ‘

kiyo hadn’t even replied to that, just giving him a little shrug. with . . . it was gone in a flash, but he looks genuinely pained for a moment, he tugs down his mask, letting it hang around his neck, as he begins to eat, mechanically scooping food into his mouth.

kirumi was the one who observed the next strange thing.

she helps clean all of the dorm rooms for her grade, and she’s happy to, and she had silently swept into kiyo’s room, beginning to pick up scattered books and neatly re-shelf them, stacking up papers he had left strewn across his desk, when she heard something odd coming from the bathroom.

she . . . doesn’t like to think of herself as an eavesdropper, but curiously, she leans against the wall next to the cracked-open door.

kiyo has his mask around his throat again, staring at himself in the mirror. he tries to smile, and it looks . . . awkward. jilted. he clears his throat, tries to grin again, but it still just looks odd. he breathes in through his nose, and laughs - _kehehe,_ and cringes, seemingly at the sound, frowning at himself in the mirror. ‘ no, that’s not - ‘ he considers for a moment. ‘ ha, ha, ha? ‘ and he tries to laugh again, tries to make the sound a little more open, but it still sounds horribly artificial.

his hands are gripping the countertop so hard his knuckles have long since passed going white. ‘ _heh!_ ‘ he tries, with an odd sort of desperation, trying to hum out a quiet laugh, trying to chuckle. something other than _kehehehe._ she watches as he drops his head into his hands.

‘ if i can’t even do this much . . . ‘ he murmurs to himself, and then shakes his head firmly, looking at himself again, and doing his best to smile. with that, she feels like she really has been eavesdropping, and quietly slips away, back out of his room.

his hands are unwrapped, the next day at school, when he sits down with the group, setting his tray down at the table. miu laughs out loud in a mockery of shock, jabbing her thumb in kiyo’s direction and joking that there had to be something in the water, because _kiyo_ was starting to turn normal, and that shit was just too crazy.

kirumi notices that the small smile he gives at that looks a little bit pained, and wonders if he had been practicing that, as well.

shuichi notices that as lunch goes on, tension begins to slowly coil in korekiyo’s posture like a spring being wound, and that when he brings his spoon to his mouth, his fingers are shaking.

kiibo is the next one to notice something off. they’re covering one of kiyo’s favorite subjects in social studies, the concepts behind mythology, and typically, he might as well be teaching the class ( and sometimes he _does,_ is invited up to the front to lecture instead of whatever teacher or guest lecturer has been brought in for the day or week. ) his head had snapped up in interest whenthe subject had been announced, and for a second, kiibo thought he was going to say something, but he . . . hunched down again.

he doesn’t speak up through all of class, just quietly taking notes. they get let out early, after a brief awkward pause, because the professor just hadn’t thought to account for kiyo not speaking at all.

kaito’s the next one to notice something.

kiyo tends not to come along, with group activities, especially ones where there are too many people or, especially - toomuch noise. he gets easily overwhelmed by the latter. so kaito is surprised, when they’re discussing going to the fireworks display, that kiyo is coming with - and that he asked if he could come.

he isn’t talking much, either. and when he does, it’s incredibly bland statements - brief, in-passing, harmless little things. and it . . . it’s disturbing to kaito. some of the things kiyo said could be creepy, for sure, but he also had some incredible insight to all the people in their class, and he was full of fascinating information.

was something wrong?

was he sick? maybe that was it - his sister had been, right? couldn’t it be possible that he had whatever his sister did?

but if there was something wrong with kiyo, he gave no inclination of it, just sitting with the group on their crowded picnic blanket among many, all of them watching the fireworks, caught up in the wash of people that surrounded them.

it’s kaito that notices the tenseness in his body, and the moment that his hands are so stressed, his nails tear slight holes in the thin cloth, and the way his jaw works, teeth grinding against each other even as he tries to listen to shuichi and kokichi’s odd little back-and-forth.

‘ i have to go to the bathroom, ‘ he murmurs, barely loud enough to be heard over whatever miu was moaning at this time, and kiibo’s complaints of robophobia, and he sets off at a quick pace, hands curled into tight, tense fists, and on impulse, kaito stands and, as sneakily as he can, follows him.

he sees kiyo’s boots in one of the stalls, and stands at the sink, pretending to busy himself there, as he hears the rush of breath - it sounds like he’s hyperventilating. kaito waits for the other man in the room to finish at the urinal and leave before heading to lean on the door to the stall kiyo is in, and gently voice up - ‘ . . . hey, kiyo. y’alright? ‘

no response for a moment.

‘ there is . . . too much noise, ‘ kiyo says, in a broken little cough of a voice. ‘ i thought . . . perhaps i could stand it, and i could stand the people, but there’s just too _much._ i’m sorry. i don’t - you don’t have to worry. please, rejoin the group. ‘

kaito sighs, leaning back against the door. ‘ you sure you’re alright? ‘ before kiyo has the chance to answer, he keeps plowing forwards. ‘ you’ve been acting . . . weird, lately. ‘

kiyo laughs, and its that odd off-beat kind of laugh, like he’s trying not to sound like himself. ‘ i . . . yes. i’’ve been trying. i . . . ‘ silence, broken by the dulled boom of the fireworks outside of the building. ‘ i thought . . . perhaps if i fixed myself. if i acted more normal. maybe i could really be a part of the group. ‘ his voice is bitter. ‘ i guess . . . some things just . . . aren’t meant to be. i can’t even handle that much. ‘

kaito sighs. he’s not . . . even really sure where to start, with that.

‘ kiyo - you’re our friend. ‘ that might be a good place to, though. he wonders when trying to keep together his friends’ psyches became so normal for him. ‘ _you_ are, like . . . like you are already, y’know? maybe you’re a little weird sometimes, but we all are. you don’t . . . have to change yourself into someone you aren’t in order for us to like you. ‘

‘ i just wish . . . i just wish i could _feel_ like one of you, ‘ kiyo responds, after a second’s hesitation. ‘ no matter what i do, i just . . . feel like an outsider. ‘

‘ and maybe that’s on us, ‘ kaito allows, ‘ and we’ll try and fix it. but you’re acting like . . . you have to prove yourself to us or something. you don’t have to push yourself past your limits for us. ‘ he listens to the crash of the fireworks outside. ‘ you’re . . . not a fan of loud noises, right? ‘

‘ overstimulation, in general, ‘ kiyo responds softly. ‘ it makes me . . . break down, sometimes. just feeling or hearing too _much._ it’s . . . often part of why i keep my face and hands covered, why i wear the same thing every day. ‘

kaito nods, even though kiyo can’t see it. ‘ i won’t pretend i completely get it, because that’s not a problem i have, but i can understand how that would really suck. we . . . make a lot of noise, sometimes. you . . . you’ve been sticking it out through a lot, huh? ‘ kiyo doesn’t reply, and that’s fine. he doesn’t need to. kaito can keep talking. ‘ not sure how much it means, man, but i’m proud of you. ’s no reason for you to change who you are, but i’m proud of you for pushin’ yourself to spend time with us. i don’t think we appreciate that enough, y’know? ’s the same for ryoma and him not bein’ motivated to join us. i think . . . i think we sometimes need to be a little more accomodating. ‘

‘ you don’t have to change for me, either, ‘ kiyo says softly. ‘ i know i’m not a very good friend. i talk too much about things only i care about, and i don’t pick up on social cues well, and i can’t do loud noises or crowds, and . . . well, i’ve never had friends before, so i’m sure my attempts at friendship are . . . clumsy. ‘

‘ they’re perfect, ‘ kaito says. ‘ hey, you’re learnin’, right? that’s all that matters. we want you to be comfortable and shit first. that’s more important than fireworks or whatever dumb activity of the week kokichi has picked out. ‘

‘ i _want_ to spend time with you, ‘ kiyo says, and kaito can hear him shifting in the stall, and feels the door shift slightly, presumably as kiyo leans on the other side of it. ‘ don’t - don’t get me wrong. i do. but i - sometimes it will be like this, and i _can’t._ i’m sorry. i’m - i’m sorry. ‘

‘ that’s alright, ‘ kaito says. ‘ we’ll just have to find things you _can_ join in, then, alright? we need to do better, too. ‘

kiyo is quiet, for a few heartbeats. ‘ kaito . . . you’re a good friend, ‘ he says, softly.

‘ so are you, kiyo. ‘ it’s an easy reply, and he means it.

‘ do you think . . . i would like to be alone for a few minutes. just to compose myself. ‘

‘ oh! oh, yeah, of course, ‘ kaito says, pushing off the stall door. ‘ i’ll be waitin’ outside, if you need me. ‘

of all people, when he steps out of the door, he sees kokichi there, twirling around a fat marker. ‘ heard your motivational speech, ‘ he says off-handedly, tucking his hands behind his head. ‘ you’re sooooo cheesy sometimes, you know that? ‘

kaito scowls. ‘ listen, kokichi, i don’t - ‘

it’s then that his eyes draw to what kokichi had been doing, looking at the three large, official looking ‘out of order/do not enter’ signs plastered on the door of the bathroom he had just left.

a few minutes alone. kokichi’s smile is enigmatic as ever, but for once, kaito feels a little more understanding of him. he rests his hands in his pockets with a sigh. ‘ thanks, kokichi, ‘ he says, knowing it won’t be accepted. still. maybe it’s good for kokichi, too, to know that the things he does in their group don’t totally go unappreciated.

they both pretend not to notice the redness to kiyo’s eyes when he steps out, a few minutes later.

‘ hey, ‘ kaito says, feigning a yawn and checking his phone. ‘ rantaro says he has a project he’s behind on, so he’s gonna be driving home soon. i figured i’d grab a ride back with him. do you want to, kiyo? we can chill back in the dorms. ‘

kiyo hesitates, considering it, and flinches ever so slightly as another firework goes off.

‘ i’d like that, ‘ he says decisively, eyes closing. ‘ thank you, kaito. ‘

**Author's Note:**

> comment if u like, etc
> 
> we projectin' lads! kiyo canonically doesnt like loud noises so i felt like in this verse . . . overstimulation would be a very real possibility


End file.
